FilmBlather.com

Another Analyze This? I think not. Gun Shy, from first-time director Erik Blakeney, is a seriously confused movie. It never makes up its mind whether it wants to be a wacky mafia comedy, a bizarre character study or a somber drama. The result is a mess of gargantuan proportions, a film with a story that's all over the place but a script that never goes anywhere.

In an unfathomable career move, Liam "Obi Wan" Neeson plays Charlie, an aging undercover DEA agent haunted by failed jobs of the past and out to make one last bust. His mission: infiltrate a money laundering operation between two gangs. Representing one of the gangs is an eccentric mobster named Fulvio (Oliver Platt). Despite a formidable appearance, Fulvio is actually a small-timer trying to impress his big-shot father by completing a successful operation.

Charlie might just be the most uptight guy you've ever seen. He's nervous, jittery, seriously troubled. He goes to a psychiatrist who recommends group therapy. Group therapy is a comedy staple, but the ones here aren't particularly funny or well-written. As if this wasn't enough of a problem for good old Charlie, he also has severe bowel problems. He sees a doctor about the problem and nurse Sandra Bullock gives him a barium enema. Turns out Bullock also practices holistic medicine. Charlie falls in love with her.

Meanwhile, Fulvio takes a liking to Charlie. He shows up in the unlikeliest of places, sometimes to save Charlie's life, other times to irritate him. At one point, Fulvio makes Charlie try to convince his father to invest in soybean stock. Since this is his last job, he decides to just go with the flow and see where it takes him.

If that doesn't sound like much of a plot, it's not. That's not a problem in itself -- I've seen plenty of successful "situation movies" -- but the fact that first-timer Erik Blakeney's script fails to let the set-up develop into anything more substantial. By the time the end credits rolled a lot of mayhem has taken place but I felt that the characters never moved. Sandra Bullock, who figured prominently in the film's trailers, barely even shows up and I was left wondering exactly what the point of her character was. Oh, never mind, I forgot: Bullock produced the movie.

Oliver Platt, one of my favorite comic actors, has a few nice moments in Gun Shy but they're mostly throwaway gags and are not enough to give the movie a reason to exist. There is a running joke that Charlie can't control his bowel movements, which is so utterly unfunny it was an all-too-clear sign of the screenwriter's desperation. And then there's that barium enema, which still gives me the creeps...

And of course everything comes back to Liam Neeson. I'm still not sure why he chose to follow up The Phantom Menace with such an inept (not to mention low-profile) project. Its failure isn't his fault (though one might think that it would never have been made had he not signed on); he does the best he can with his character and, like Platt, rises above the script. But his very presence is bewildering.

It should have been obvious to someone that Gun Shy was a lost cause. The script simply isn't there. It's not clever, it's not funny, exciting, sweet, sympathetic, anything. I would have settled for any of the above.