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"The question is: can you survive me?"

Despite what the intriguing trailers suggested, Hollow Man is a monster movie and if it were to be stripped of its expensive, sometimes darn near amazing special effects, it would be a very conventional one. Director Paul Verhoeven, who has scored big in the past with films like Total Recall, Robocop and Starship Troopers has made a mechanical, soulless thriller that kept me interested in a purely what-happens-next sense but now, two days later, few specifics about it linger strongly in my memory. Hollow indeed.

The intriguing opening shot features an innocent-looking rat being crushed by an invisible hand. The hand, we find out, belongs to one of the many animals that Dr. Sebastian Caine (Kevin Bacon) and his crew of scientists have managed to turn invisible. We're never given any technical information about the process -- only told that turning an organism invisible isn't a problem (cool, huh?) but bringing it back from Wonderland is. After months of effort, it seems Caine has finally cracked "reversion," as they call it. When the formula is tested on an invisible gorilla, it reacts violently and has to be given emergency aid but is, in the end, successfully turned visible.

Caine reports back to the government committee he is doing this project for. Afraid of being thrown off the project, he tells them that he has not yet cracked reversion and decides to try the invisibility formula on himself without authorization and despite the objections of his colleagues (among them Sebastian's ex-girlfriend (Elizabeth Shue) and her new romantic interest (Josh Brolin)). They go ahead with "phase three" and turn Sebastian invisible. We're about a third of the way through the movie now and this marks the end of Kevin Bacon's performance -- we never see his face again.

Perpetually stuck in the lab for testing, Sebastian gets bored. When they find out that they can't safely bring him back, he gets pissed. After sneaking out and invisibly fondling his neighbor's breasts he, for no apparent reason, decides to trap all of his colleagues in the underground lab and kill them off one by one.

Films don't often deal with the concept of invisibility, so you'd think writer Andrew Marlowe would be able to think up some good ways of using it in such an expensive movie. No can do. The $85 million spent on Hollow Man all goes towards executing all of the usual monster movie conventions -- "boo" moments, gruesome executions, chases, elevator shaft scenes, you name it, Hollow Man's got it. There's little suspense, other than trying to anticipate what bloody way Sebastian will think of to dispatch his next victim. Stuff like this can be good B-movie fun, but not when so much potential is wasted.

The invisible man himself is terrific to watch, to be sure. Tremendous effort was taken to ensure that every effect is completely convincing, from the layered disappearances to the spooky hollow mask that Sebastian wears. This is, of course, at the expense of Kevin Bacon's performance. He got top billing in Hollow Man's advertising and I'm not sure why -- for two-thirds of the film, he is nothing more than a special effect. Elizabeth Shue, looking creepily like Meg Ryan, does a terrific job of being scared-as-hell in what is really the film's lead performance.

If you're expecting an intelligent, suspenseful science-fiction chiller, you'll be sorely disappointed. If you're looking for a truly frightening two hours, ditto. If you want to watch a very cool rendering of invisible people, gorillas and dogs then Hollow Man is the summer blockbuster for you. Otherwise, stick with X-Men.