Home on the Range (2004)
Starring Roseanne, Judi Dench, Cuba Gooding, Jr., Jennifer Tilly, Randy Quaid..
Directed by Will Finn and John Sanford.
Rated PG.
Grade: B-
"She'll be comin' 'round the mountain, she'll be comin' round the mountain..."
"She'd better hurry up around that mountain, because I can't take this much longer."
Disney has succeeded with both the grandiose (The Lion King) and the prosaic (The Fox and the Hound), so the fact that Home on the Range doesn't involve kings, princesses or saving the world can't be a damning flaw. The reason it doesn't rise far above mediocrity, I suspect, is that there is no convincing emotional core beneath the cheerful anthropomorphism and barn-related puns. This is, believe it or not, a movie about farm animals go on a daring and dangerous quest to preserve the means of their exploitation by saving the farm. Indeed, the protagonist, a cow, is initially very distraught at having to leave her ranch, where she undoubtedly would have been slaughtered and eaten before very long.
Yeah, yeah; I'm well aware that I'm asking the wrong questions. It's just that, as our heroes were giving us remarkable displays of courage and doing things no self-respecting cow would ever be able to do, I kept asking myself what the point was, and kept coming back to the fact that they were doing this not to run away from the farm but to save the farm. Then again, the farm is called "Patch of Heaven" and its proprietor, upon being suggested that she sell her animals to pay her overdue mortgage, screams that the cows, chickens, pigs and goats "are family -- you don't sell family!" What a sad, lonely woman.
Disney has tumbled from its perch in recent years, so I don't suppose it means a lot to say that Home on the Range doesn't measure up to the studio's usual standards. Despite being a passable amusement, it certainly doesn't approach the Disney films of the early 90's -- the glory days, if you ask me. The best you can expect to find here is a few amusing wisecracks, a colorful villain and a merciful 76-minute running time. That might be enough when your alternative is Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed.
The voice cast boasts some impressive names: Roseanne Barr notwithstanding, there's Judi Dench playing an uptight, genteel British bovine, Jennifer Tilly as the ditzy and skinny sidekick, Cuba Gooding, Jr. as a hyperactive horse, and Randy Quaid as the bad guy cattle rustler who has the uncanny ability to hypnotize cows with his yodeling. Quaid's big, bearded, imposing, villainous Alameda Slim abruptly breaking into a cheerful tune is the film's biggest laugh.
Home on the Range continues the irritating new tradition of setting the action to sappy tunes played in the background -- far worse than having the characters sing the sappy tunes themselves. That way, we at least feel like the characters are delivering the message as opposed to the producers, which is just obnoxious. If the songs don't fit, is it that important to fill up the soundtrack CD? I guess it is.
Home on the Range doesn't commit the cardinal sin of being boring, but it comes damn close. The kids will probably like it. As always, your call.